so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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