It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
