i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
