I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
