I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
