I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
