i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
