Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just cropdusted the office
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
