I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How's work?
Spinning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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