my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
