i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
