Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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