shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
