Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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