I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
