why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
