What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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