i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
