New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I believe in your delicious
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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