she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my being single is dangerous.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
