Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
In America we eat man semen.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I can't trust your balls anymore.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
