i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
