I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
