I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
