Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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