i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
