Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
