a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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