i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
