I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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