Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone signed my nipple.
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