Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize