i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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