I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
