Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
