Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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