i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
