Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
