i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
