why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
