this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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