I need help removing her.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
