Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
