apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
