my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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