the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
