And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
