So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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