Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
