I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
