girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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