Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
