the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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