i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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