I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
