white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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