I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
