just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
