No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
