Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She bit a glass in half.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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