If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You ruined the universe
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
