he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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