Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
