Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
