I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
