I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
